used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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