Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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