Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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