His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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