honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
