So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
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