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i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
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