I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i've created a new STD.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis