two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
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did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.