NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Pants are for mortals
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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