ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.