my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
