so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
