Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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