it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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