let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize