Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
