booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
