how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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