Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
