You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
