1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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