The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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