The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
sex in a hospital.. check
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
