Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
this boner is exhausting
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize