I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
wow bdsm is so cute
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
