why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
