do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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