90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
not ubering you a puppy
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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