I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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