Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
