bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
