Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
40s are totally the cure
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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