my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
