i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
that's an acceptable place to lick
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
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Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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