I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!