He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
