please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
