He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
