he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
