I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize