he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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