what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
