So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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