his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
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Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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