yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
