the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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