Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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