Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
