Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
