We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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