i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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