I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
