trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
