He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize