Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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