If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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