Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
