He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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