don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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